Tag Archives: comfort

To my last, Lost Love

I am surprised at how fine I am without you as the object of my affection. For this broken heart, I’ve sought peace rather than prolonging suffering. I still feel for you often, and definitely miss you, but my feelings of love are fading to fondness, and my concern for your happiness has become more like pity. That surprises me, as it may you, but I strongly believe you have made the wrong choice for yourself by letting me go, you just don’t know it yet.

Of course, I am sure that now you feel quite confident that you made the right choice for your happiness; I have already witnessed your rewriting of what really happened between us in the recent past in order to justify your decision. But I still know you well, no matter how much you have disappointed me in this action, and I remember the rest of the story you seem willing to forget. So, my pity is aroused for you…I am so sorry you cannot discern the value our relationship had in your life. I just hope you learned something about yourself, and something about love, that can maybe serve you in your next attempt at relationship. I also pity you because I know my value, and you will be hard-pressed to find its like again.

When I was still torn apart from how you played me at the end (…I never realized how much pain comes from someone doing something that causes you to lose so much respect for them…until now), I actively wished you to experience pain and hardship. I sincerely regret that, and I am very glad I never lashed out at you when these feelings arose. However, the anger I felt was a valuable way for me to rebuild my power and confidence. Now, I can accept that your karma will take care of these matters for me…I can trust in that. I do not need to know the consequences that will befall you for how you treated me, but I can instead focus on how I behaved through all of this. 

I have had many strong and frequent emotions in the last two months as I thought of you, and I am sure you have also. We both can acknowledge the pain of breaking apart our love. I hope you had reason to believe I had anything but love for you, even at the end. As I now begin to move on, to find love again, I am comforted that I always knew I loved you and that I was willing to do the work necessary to compromise for us. I feel confident that I will love again and soon. And while I hope you eventually find love again, I first would wish that you were truly prepared for all that entails. So if you are still hurting for your sake, or for mine, take comfort in knowing that I fully accept your decision now, because I want someone who can love me better.

Sincerely,

this Heart


Let’s begin

Dear Heart,

I know you are hurting now. Your pain is justified and I understand that it must be. Your relationship was very valuable to you and many emotions were closely linked with your partner. I am proud of you for loving so deeply, so completely, because in all love and attachment their is the chance of loss, of pain.

Remember that it is not only OK to grieve, but it is necessary. You did not choose this end…you choose to keep loving him despite the risk of his pulling away. Your choice was brave, but now you have no choice. The facts are the facts, no matter how much your desire disagrees. He choose to close his heart to you, to know longer try to feel something he didn’t want. You took a chance, Heart, and you fell. Pain can be a learning experience, but regretting your choices will not bring him back. Go ahead and grieve, I will stay with you while you cry, but I will not pity you.

Heart, I will be the safety that you can rest in. I will not let myself be pulled down into your grief, so when you are ready, I can show you the way back. This life we are living is special, and we have the opportunity of experiencing it fully. Part of this gift is experiencing heartbreak. But I am so glad to have you in this life, because although the pain you can experience is very deep, so is the love that know how to cultivate so well. I am forever honored to have a heart like you that loves so much and so freely.

Take comfort that there is no judgment from me about how sad you are, or how hopeful. Feel free to develop new passions and new attachments. The roller coaster you take me on is exhilarating every time. Once you have grieved, I am sure you will go out into the sea of hearts and find another Love to love. Whoever he may be, he can not be as lucky as me, because I get to experience loving from the inside…I get to observe every palpitation you send through me, every act of compassion, every colorful feeling you have on your palette. 

Thank you for your big emotions, and for being the betting kind! Here’s to high risk for high reward in love!

Affectionately,

Self


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