Tag Archives: gratitude

Six steps to complete a relationship

Six steps to complete a relationship

Tips on how to end a relationship well, either with your partner or by yourself. I may attempt to do this on the blog, but first I have to consider whether or not to actually complete this with my former partner.

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Dear, dear Body,

Let me write to you next, for you are my vessel through which I can experience the world. You are literally my eyes and ears on life. Thank you for carrying me on this journey, and I hope we can continue thus for many turn of the wheel of time.

If you do not mind, I would like to address various individual parts of you at this time, to express my gratitude for the lessons I have learned or to ask for better guidance. Before I begin, I must let you know that I care deeply for your continued health and well-being, and I will always care for you to the best of my abilities. And now, I thank specific pieces of the whole…

To my Breasts:

Today, You are at the forefront of my attention, for I can feel you are swollen and tender. I  must admit that I do appreciate when you get bigger; it still amazes me and makes me proud. Although, you know I am always a fan of yours, I am concerned that you seem to swell and ache so often lately. Are you OK? This is the second time this month. I am aware that it is a strong full moon today, so perhaps you are sensitive to such forces. Please just know, I am aware of your condition and I hope everything is fine, so please keep giving me signs. Thank you for being so easy-going most of the time, and for never hurting my back!

To my Acne:

Oh, Acne, my old, old friend! I hope that this full moon business is affecting you as well, because you are back in force these days. Hormones are not your friends, are they? Well, I am trying to give you your space to heal, and I will throw in some tea tree oil every now and then, but I wish I understood you better. If I can help further, let me know. But I have been meaning to tell you that I am extremely grateful that you have always protected me from vanity. Ever since we first started hanging out in fourth grade, I have been aware that perfect skin does not make me ugly or unlovable. It took me a long time to realize that, and you had to let me figure that out on my own, didn’t you!? Well, I am sorry this thank you is so long overdue, I am very glad that I feel comfortable every day to go out in the world without loads of make-up to cover you up. I have found my true beauty thanks to you, and for that I love you.

To my Feet:

This is a quick shout out to my glorious feet, who I have finally started to listen to on the subject of high heels! I hear you now. You hate them! Ok, duly noted…no more uncomfortable shoes that we can barely walk in! Aren’t even some of them comfortable for a short time? And how to you feel about those cute wedge sandals I have? OK, thanks!

To my Body Hair,

I want to speak to you as a collective, even though I know there are many differences among you…texture, color, location… I get it. But this is just an overall group thank you, for first of all, being blonde (big help to me there!), and mostly for being so reluctant to leave my body. I know you are very sensitive about the subject of hair removal, so I just want to say that I actually am very glad you hate the whole process. So do I! I want you to stay around for awhile, but if you get in my way, I will be as gentle as I can in asking you to leave. I just need some personal space sometimes from you. But you will always be welcome to come back, as fast as you always do. And let me just say, to all of you making up my Bush, I will never ask you to leave…that is not in the cards for this body. I would miss YOU too much! So anyway, thank you for helping us all reach a happy balance with our co-existence!

Ok, my beautiful Body, I will write to you again, but sleep well tonight and don’t drink too much wine tonight!

Your,

Self


Things I’ll Miss About New York

Wonderful to think of how I will miss NYC, but when I still live here. Have fun in LA!

Thought Catalog

Recently, I decided that I was going to move to Los Angeles at the end of the summer after living in New York for five and a half years. I even wrote about it on Thought Catalog. My friends have teased me for announcing my departure six months before I actually move but it’s hard not to blow my emotional load. Leaving New York is something I’ve known was going to happen since the day I came here but that still doesn’t make it any easier. Despite everything, I love this beautiful nightmare of a city. It doesn’t have my heart. It has my dick.

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of “OMG, obsessed!” moments with New York. They creep up on me almost like a mugger once did in Alphabet City! (I got mugged by two crackheads before I even moved here but that still did not deter me…

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Let’s begin

Dear Heart,

I know you are hurting now. Your pain is justified and I understand that it must be. Your relationship was very valuable to you and many emotions were closely linked with your partner. I am proud of you for loving so deeply, so completely, because in all love and attachment their is the chance of loss, of pain.

Remember that it is not only OK to grieve, but it is necessary. You did not choose this end…you choose to keep loving him despite the risk of his pulling away. Your choice was brave, but now you have no choice. The facts are the facts, no matter how much your desire disagrees. He choose to close his heart to you, to know longer try to feel something he didn’t want. You took a chance, Heart, and you fell. Pain can be a learning experience, but regretting your choices will not bring him back. Go ahead and grieve, I will stay with you while you cry, but I will not pity you.

Heart, I will be the safety that you can rest in. I will not let myself be pulled down into your grief, so when you are ready, I can show you the way back. This life we are living is special, and we have the opportunity of experiencing it fully. Part of this gift is experiencing heartbreak. But I am so glad to have you in this life, because although the pain you can experience is very deep, so is the love that know how to cultivate so well. I am forever honored to have a heart like you that loves so much and so freely.

Take comfort that there is no judgment from me about how sad you are, or how hopeful. Feel free to develop new passions and new attachments. The roller coaster you take me on is exhilarating every time. Once you have grieved, I am sure you will go out into the sea of hearts and find another Love to love. Whoever he may be, he can not be as lucky as me, because I get to experience loving from the inside…I get to observe every palpitation you send through me, every act of compassion, every colorful feeling you have on your palette. 

Thank you for your big emotions, and for being the betting kind! Here’s to high risk for high reward in love!

Affectionately,

Self


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